


Fit for a King

by GenerousPortions (Octotrooper)



Series: Gaining Admirance [2]
Category: Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!
Genre: Clothes, Gay, M/M, angry snail man, gay snail, giant, macro, measuring, stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 22:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19049923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octotrooper/pseuds/GenerousPortions
Summary: Commission for TumTarum. A sequel to "King Sized."Escargoon has to deal with the royal pain of overseeing the production of the emperor penguin's new clothes.Contains: Fat, Gay, Giant, Clothes, Stupid





	Fit for a King

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TumTarum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TumTarum/gifts).



“PLEASE hold still, your Majesty! You’re making this difficult!”

“B-but, Escargoon! That tickles!”

Escargoon struggled to keep his balance atop the giant King Dedede stomach wiggling underneath him. Several months ago, the greedy king had taken on the enormous role of biggest person in Dream Land. He had ballooned to nearly fifty times his original size, courtesy of a mysterious intergalactic company with a size-enhancing supplement.

 _But perhaps the supplement worked **too** well, _Escargoon thought as he finished tying yet another three-hundred foot measuring tape around the King’s waist. It wasn’t that the penguin King’s size wasn’t impressive, but after the entire stock was purchased, the owner of the company had made so much money that they retired early and closed the factory!

Escargoon carefully slid down King Dedede’s side. The last measurement he needed was taken.

“You’re about four thousand inches round, Sire,” he said.

“And what were my original measurements?” King Dedede asked, cocking his head.

“A hundred inches, exactly.”

King Dedede laughed and rolled onto his back, kicking his feet with glee. “That’s it, then! I am the biggest person in Dream Land!”

“You’ve been the biggest for a while,” Escargoon muttered, scribbling down the King’s size in a notepad. “Ever since your belly passed quadruple digits.”  

“What was that?”

“I said your belly is quadruple big. I mean, your digits are big. Uh, ah, your stomach! It’s… big!” Escargoon wanted to melt into a puddle. He had a not-so-secret crush that seemed to be growing at the same rate as King Dedede, and that guaranteed the occasional tied tongue.

 “All right, Sire,” Escargoon began again. “I believe I have everything measured correctly for your new robes.”

“You’d better,” the King said. “Comfy as they are, I’m getting tired of sitting around in my boxer shorts.”

-x-

It wasn’t easy overseeing a tailoring shop full of Waddle Dees with nothing but a pen and clipboard. They weren’t the brightest of creatures, and prone to making simple mistakes. Escargoon was beginning to get a stress headache in his eyestalks.

“No, no!” Escargoon yelled. “What’re you doing with all this blue fur!? The King wants a scarlet robe! You’re making a deep sea disaster!”

The Waddle Dee, who was carrying no less than fifty square yards of bright blue fabric, squeaked something in response and hung its head. Escargoon turned to one of the English-speaking Waddle Doos.

“He says he thought the king would love a robe with blue polka dots on it,” the Waddle Doo translated. “Frankly, I think it would look nice on him, too. Whaddya think?”

“No! The King would NOT like some ‘nice polka dots!’ He wants his robes to be a regally royal red! Blue blotches will botch the beauty and make him look like a blundering, bawdy buffoon!” Escargoon rubbed his aching eyestalks. The Doos were supposed help him oversee the robe production, but they were often as scatterbrained as the Dees. Neither Doo or Dee looked convinced that King Dedede wouldn’t enjoy polka dots.

Escargoon slithered around the room, hoping the rest of his crew was a bit more competent. The white fur trim, over 200 feet long, looked to be in order. King Dedede’s new belt, over twenty feet high and 300 feet long, was a perfect replica of the signature belt he had worn for many years. And the white shirt he would be wearing during the harsh winter months…

“Hey! What’re ya doing!?” Escargoon shouted at the five Waddle Dees sitting around the shirtmaker’s station. “That doesn’t look right at all!” The Waddle Dees all began meeping frantically and waving their arms above their head.

“They couldn’t find enough fabric in that exact shade of cream, Lord Escargoon,” another Waddle Doo said. “So they had to use old bedsheets.”

“Bedsheets!?” Escargoon roared, grabbing the unfinished shirt. His expression softened. The sheets were definitely comfortable enough to for a King to wear.

“All right, the material isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be,” Escargoon said. “But why’s it so small?”

“Small? It’s made from seventeen sheets!” the Waddle Doo said.

“Only seventeen!? This is going to be tiny on him! He’s over a hundred feet tall!” Escargoon threw his free hand in the air. “Doesn’t anyone here do exactly as the King wants!?”

“You do,” the Waddle Doo said. Escargoon felt his face turn the color of fresh beets.

“A-all right, we’ll make the shirt out of dark purple instead. Do we have enough purple?”  he asked, covering his face with his clipboard. The Waddle Dees looked at each other.

“We can dye the sheets, maybe?” the Waddle Doo asked slowly.

“Y-yes, that will be fine. As long as you can get it all the same color. I have to go check on the others. Bye.” Escargoon hurried out the door as quickly as a snail could.

-x-

Several doors down was the royal cobbler’s workshop. King Dedede generally didn’t wear shoes, but on cold winter mornings he often complained about cold feet. Escargoon thought that a pair of huge fuzzy slippers might be a nice surprise.  

The royal cobbler was a Poppy Bro, slightly larger than average and very knowledgeable about his job. If anyone could make Dedede a nice pair of cozy slippers, Escargoon knew, it would be him.

-x-

“What are all these?” Escargoon asked upon seeing three massive pairs of shoes against the back wall. “I only wanted you to make a simple pair of slippers!”

“Well, Lord Escargoon,” the Poppy Bro beamed, “I got so excited about making the world’s biggest pair of shoes that I ended up making several different pairs! I do hope you like them.”

Escargoon looked over the first pair of shoes.  They looked to be about the right size, but they were a certain shade of pink that made the ends of Escargoon’s feelers twitch. And the face embroidered on them looked just like…

“Kirby!?” Escargoon was furious. “You made a pair of KIRBY slippers!?”

“Everyone loves Kirby,” the Poppy Bro said, blinking in surprise.

“Not King Dedede! You know that!”

“All right, then how about these?” He gestured with his head towards a second pair. These were rather unusual slippers, floppy and bright yellow with pointed toes.

“These are hideous!” Escargoon said. “Who’d want to wear shoes like these!? Forget it, let me see the last pair.”

The last pair of shoes looked soft and cozy. They were a bright shade of purple over the toes and heel, with green sides. Something about the shoes looked familiar, but Escargoon couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“These’ll do,” Escargoon said, dropping a handful of golden coins onto the cobbler’s counter. “Thank you very much.”

-x-

A week had passed, and the King’s new clothes were finally finished. It took over seventy Waddle Dees to carry the deep purple shirt alone, not to mention the robe, which snaked around two hallways at once though it was folded over twice. At the end of the clothing parade was a squad of Blade Knights, carrying the weighty shoes above their heads.

King Dedede gasped upon seeing the front end of his new robes peek through his chamber door. And what a sight it was to see! An ocean of red, furry fabric piled up at the King’s feet, followed by a wave of purple shirt and the largest belt anyone had ever seen.

-x-

“To the left!” Escargoon barked. “You’re too low! Raise up!”

It took nearly five hundred Waddle Dees to help dress the gargantuan king, making sure that his arms were sticking properly through the sleeves and adjusting his robe to be perfectly centered.

When the King was fully dressed, Escargoon brought in the surprise slippers. King Dedede stared at them with a bewildered expression on his face.

“These shoes look familiar,” he finally said, looking at the purple and green shoes.

“I was thinking the same thing,” said the purple and green snail.

“Did I have a pair of slippers like these?” the King asked.

“No idea,” Escargoon said.

All the Waddle Dees began to giggle.

“Pipe down! It’s not his fault that His Majesty has more important things to do than keep track of what slippers he used to have!” Escargoon bellowed.

“So,” Escargoon said, turning to his King. “How do they feel?”

King Dedede raised his arms and moved left and right.

“Hmm, these are pretty good, but they’re a bit snug. Would you mind taking some measurements?”

 


End file.
